Herds of Hippies

Hippies are so freaking annoying. Just the way they talk makes any sane person want to punch them in the face. Stop talking about your detox diet while smoking a cigarette. Stop substituting a ‘spiritual experience at a waterfall’ for a real shower (you smell terrible!). Stop going on and on about your vegan lifestyle while I’m trying to enjoy my chicken satay (it’s delicious you malnourished freak). No, I don’t want to preach about politics I don’t fully understand. No, I haven’t read ‘Eat, Pray, Love.’ No, I don’t care about how ‘the universe is affecting you at – like – a real level.’ I’m not tense, you’re just incredibly annoying.