Herds of Hippies

Hippies are so freaking annoying. Just the way they talk makes any sane person want to punch them in the face. Stop talking about your detox diet while smoking a cigarette. Stop substituting a ‘spiritual experience at a waterfall’ for a real shower (you smell terrible!). Stop going on and on about your vegan lifestyle while I’m trying to enjoy my chicken satay (it’s delicious you malnourished freak). No, I don’t want to preach about politics I don’t fully understand. No, I haven’t read ‘Eat, Pray, Love.’ No, I don’t care about how ‘the universe is affecting you at – like – a real level.’ I’m not tense, you’re just incredibly annoying.

Monkey Attack (Again)

When will I learn? Gibraltar, Costa Rica, and now Indonesia! How many continents is it going to take me to figure it out: Monkeys are BAD NEWS!

But they’re so cute and fluffy! you might say.

LIES! Subterfuge! Misdirection! It’s a worldwide conspiracy of National Geographic preportions. All the monkeys are in on it. That whole cute fuzzy thing is an act. The monkeys are plotting to take over the world one banana at a time! Look out!

What’s with crazy? you might wonder.

Because I got attacked! Again! Ok, well not attacked, that’s a bit much. But one fuzzy little bastard stole my glasses. What does a monkey need corrected vision for? You seen one tree you seen ‘em all. There I was, quietly photographing a monkey eating a potato, when the furry perpetrator pulled a classic Kansas City Shuffle and makes off with my glasses.

It took a slingshot and a cemetery to get them back. But that’s a story for another time.
 

 

Yogyakarta

“Yogya” for short, is the cultural center of the crowded island of Java. Renowned for its artistic spirit, Yogya sports galleries like Starbucks and Dunks in one. The city also has some of the liveliest markets, such as Pasar Beringharo, where street performances like the one below, are common.

Copi Luwak

Asia has some weird foods. One of the most famous coffees in the world comes from Indonesia. It’s called Copi Luwak. A single cup is over $7USD. Keep in mind this is in a country where weeks wages is $50.

What is Copi Luwak? Its coffee made from the same beans as every other type of coffee. The only difference is that they have been partially digested by a little animal called a civet. It looks like a cross between a ferret and a cat.

What do you mean partially digested? It’s exactly what it sounds like. When the beans are passed by the civet, they are collected, cleaned, dried, and then roasted. It’s a smooth, subtle cup of coffee that surprisingly….still tastes like coffee.
 

Jungle Men

Indonesian is one of the last places on earth where wild Orangutans can be found. After intense conservation efforts, their numbers are starting to return to what they used to be. But it's taking a while, considering females only breed once every 10 years.

 

 

Around the village of Bukit Lawang, Sumatra, several Orangutans can be spotted climbing through the canopy. If you're lucky. And if you can avoid the walking leaches.

From Ice to Earthquakes

Leaving behind the cold of a New England winter wasn’t hard to do. Despite enduring what would turn out to be 50 hours of flights and layovers. The rout was an unusual one: over Canada then down across China. During the daylight hours, stunning views of misty snow-covered mountains spread as far as the eye could see. It was several transfers later that I finally left snow and ice behind, stepped out of the plane and into a world where the air is so humid and fragrant it’s like walking into a tropical greenhouse.

After making it to the hotel room, staying awake long enough for a cold shower was a feat of sheer willpower. Collapsing into bed, I was asleep within minutes.

You know you’re not in Kansas (or indeed any part of the US) when you are woken by Muslim prayers being broadcast around the city. But I wasn’t expecting to be woken up by an earthquake. Especially because I was in a jetlagged-induced coma. I forced myself into consciousness when my bed seriously started shaking. There was a loud rumbling from everywhere and a few distant screams. Even half asleep it’s easy to recognize an earthquake. It’s hard, however, to give a damn when you’re that exhausted. So I went back to sleep, enjoying the fact that the room was still moving. Later, when the Muslim prayers started, I was rested enough to think about finally getting out of bed.

New Year #4: Thingyan Water Festival

Myanmar celebrates thier new year at roughly the same time as their neighbors. The celebration is called Thingyan. Like Thailand, cities across the country celebrate with a nation-wide water fight. The festivities in Myanmar, however, have an edge to them.

Rather than mere squirt guns, the people of Yangon bust out the industrial strength hoses and pressure washers. An unwary visitor may find themselves nearly blasted off their feet if they're not careful. Revelers with a devious streak, fill their guns with ice water. Others add food coloring (usually red) to their tanks.

Yangon doesn't isolate their celebrations either: the entire city is turned into a friendly war zone.